What follows is my essay for the essay competition in the Korean language classes at KCCLA's King Sejong Institute. I did it wrong, starting out in English rather than Korean, so I owe my language partner, Won Tack Kim a huge debt of gratitude for working with me so closely to translate these thoughts! She is awesome! Gamsahamnida, WonTack ssi!
Korean Dramas: On the Road to Understanding Sticky “Cheong”
The first Korean drama I watched was “My Lovely Samsoon.” I found “my” Samsoon by accident on a hot summer night and was totally delighted by her humor, her foul language, and her passionate connection to both love and pastries. She amazed me! However, she and her family and friends and love relationships also confused me. Why was she worried about being 30? Why was a younger guy such an issue? Why did her boyfriend’s mother have such control over him and, thus, her? Why did her sister fear going home a divorced woman?
The plot, the wonderful acting, and this desire to find answers to my many questions kept me watching, addicted to this “virtual” Korea that I had found a way to sneak into. Other dramas that I watched – and there have been many in the last five to six years!! – offered other windows through which I could crawl and catch a glimpse of Korean culture and family life. As a good friend of mine from Korea explained, I have begun to understand the Korean connectedness, “cheong,” that underlies those family relationships. In fact, it is not just a connectedness but a “sticky connectedness – kkeun kkeun han cheong” that I’d begun to experience. It’s that sticky connectedness that draws people together in deep bonds that might be a little beyond an American’s comfort zone.
There used to be a shout-out about family values in American television. I think that recently that has given way to reality shows and crazy competitions. However, I still think that the family values mixed into American television is like a thin layer of frosting smeared on a cupcake of a appeasement for the more conservative viewers. Most Americans understand that the bite-size morsels of life that 30-minute sitcoms offer can add in only a few images of so-called family values. On the contrary, Korean dramas of 60 to 90 minutes per episode and sixteen to over fifty episodes per series provide a much better opportunity to delve into characters’ lives, their relationships, and their conflicts, and to create, finally, after many, many hours of story-telling, a resolution, that maybe was not a neatly tied up Hollywood happy ending, but was still satisfying and often thought-provoking.
As I’ve watched more and more Korean dramas, week-end and daily family dramas, historical dramas and historical fusion, romantic comedies, and action thrillers, the story lines and characters have almost always captured me and smeared me with a wonderful, tasty coating of sticky, sticky cheong. This addiction to Korean dramas that I have experienced really has changed my life and my approach to relationships and conflicts. Just like a classic novel that touches your heart and enriches your life, Korean dramas have broadened not only my understanding of the world at large, but also my own personal world.
Now I know that love isn’t just the American-style rush to pleasure but is built up and reconsidered in terms of what one has to offer the loved one. However, the sticky cheong is in conflict with the individualism that is the Americans’ view on the world. I’m sure Koreans also wonder, “What’s in it for me?” However, there are other connections that need care and monitoring. The focus is on the garden, not on one particular plant.
In the years that I’ve been watching Korean dramas, especially family dramas, I’ve noted exciting changes: plots revolve around some different conflicts related to HIV, homosexuality, single parenting, adoption, and divorce. Women’s lives are also being re-examined in many dramas – women of every age take time to reconsider their choices and those family relationships that require so much hard work and sacrifice, sometimes even leaving the family, like in “Mom’s Dead Upset.” Just like American TV, however, just because certain issues are brought up within the context of a program doesn’t mean that the issue is resolved in the society at large. Yet, what I thought might be taboo topics are treated with warmth and respect in the Korean dramas I’ve seen, giving viewers a way to think about those issues and still maintain that sticky connectedness.
My Korean friend said that some things in the dramas are changing and thus are surprising to her and other Koreans, but that sticky connectedness has just gone a little deeper. I know it’s still there – I can feel it, and it still provides a strong foundation on which the relationships can grow. Maybe that’s why every American I’ve told about Korean dramas and actually watches them does become addicted. That sticky connectedness appeals at a deeper level, beyond a Cinderella story, beyond cultural differences.
I know I still don’t understand sticky cheong completely, but I’m more comfortable with and appreciate the issues that arise within families and loving relationships in Korean dramas. I am also more comfortable with the more realistic ambiguous ending that allows for some things to work out in the end, but not everything. Life is like that – not everything works out the way we’d like it to and not every situation is perfectly resolved at the same time. So, thanks to Korean dramas I’m learning to go deeper, be more patient and enjoy some of that sticky, sticky connectedness.
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